There is a deep amount of hatred in me. I can clearly sense it. I am ashamed of myself. I see how badly I have drowned into a deep pit hole of ego, jealousy, loop of expectations......................... These are the lines I have written exactly 3 months ago and I stopped the blog. Time is just passing by and I am stuck in a loop because I am unable to recognize or remember what I have been doing over the past few months. Is it because I don't like those moments or is it something else? Have I fallen into the trap of correcting people or correcting myself extremely. I was going through an extreme circle of emotions, especially dominated by negative one. My brain is sending me signals, telling me that it's enough....you are done, there's nothing else you can do, you are not capable of doing multiple things or even if you think of doing so, you will badly fail at it. I had always slept for lesser hours, compared to what I sleep today. Have I lost the spark in me? I am unabl...
Have you ever felt like the earth beneath your feet is being snatched away every single time you worked so damn hard to stabilize it? Have you felt that you are over compensating everything - daily routine, food, friends, family, job just because you imagined the future self would be extremely happy with what was about to come? After sacrificing almost everything in your comfort zone........ A beautiful home with lots of good sun, air, nature and warmth of loved ones, A workplace which never made you feel alone coz you always end up finding your space, A city that introduced a new version of yourselves, someone you are damn proud of for sustaining all the heartbreak in silence..... Now, it feels like I have hit my ROCK BOTTOM, ahhh once again!!! What exactly does this "Hitting Rock Bottom" mean to you? For me, it is to become the worst possible version of one self at a particular time where you just donno what to do next. It's quite hard to even figure out or interpret w...